My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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