I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize