ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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