We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
