Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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