In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
