Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Randomize
