I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Randomize
