he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
