So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
