dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
