Porn is love you can see.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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