Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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