This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
