This is not my ceiling
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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