If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
