If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
