Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
