Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
