I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
