Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
