I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
