Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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