I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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