When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
