I wannas sexs uuuuu
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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