are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
