Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize