The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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