we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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