My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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