I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Randomize
