She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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