if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
