doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
