Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
