So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
