When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize