your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
