I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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