So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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