Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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