his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize