Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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