so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
