Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
