Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
