Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
