I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
