hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
