Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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