Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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