Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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