I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
