Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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