I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
