Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hippo gnu deer
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize