I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
