oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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